Second Disappearing Birth Mother

Stunned is really the only word to describe how we felt when we got the news that this second birth mother who we were matched with disappeared as well. She was released from prison last Monday, 10/5, and the original plan was for the ladies from the agency to pick her up and help her move into one of their apartments right away. We had put together a care package for her and sent it off to the agency already (a letter from us, restaurant gift cards, magazines, books, a Bible, a book of puzzles, etc) to be given to her the day she got out.

She called the agency two days before she was released (Sat, 10/3) and said that her mother was going to visit and pick her up, they'd go shopping, and she'd come to the agency's apartments within a couple of days. They haven't heard from her since. They've tried calling her mother's cell, but it's been permanently disconnected, so they're taking that as a sign that Sherri (the birth mother) changed her mind. I don't think she'd had contact with her mother in a long time, and I don't think her mom originally knew she was pregnant. Seems a lot of things changed once she found out that she was, and my guess is that 'grandma' didn't want to lose a third grandchild. Sherri had already lost custody of one child to his father, and had placed another for adoption.

The agency is going to start showing our profile to other birth mothers (we're 'active' again) at this point, although at this moment, they have no unmatched birth mothers to whom they can show our profile. Wow- it's hard to understand God's plans sometimes, but that doesn't make them any less wonderful. What could be stranger than God in a manger, for example? We trust that his plans are perfect, and ours are not. But that doesn't mean this is easy. It's as though we've lost one baby the week she was to be born, and a second two months before. SO. DIFFICULT. We're trying to figure out what we're supposed to learn from this. Perseverance; definitely. Are we meant to be parents? Are we going the right route? Are we in God's will? We had thought so. I still think so. I really think He's using this horrible choice of the birth mother's to refine our trust, patience, and perseverance. From a worldly perspective, Sherri doesn't have any business with this child based on her prior record. Nonetheless, we'll be praying diligently for this child with the trust that God will use any bad experiences in his/her life to draw him/her closer to Him- and hopefully Sherri as well.

I just keep reminding myself of what a story of God's faithfulness we'll have to share with our future child someday- that both of these 'failures' brought us to them, and that they were no accident. No, indeed.

"The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18